Where has the time gone…

Hello… is there anybody out there?  My goodness.  Has it been three years?  What in the freaking world, you guys?  Man.  I think I need this space now more than ever.  I suppose I always knew I would return (since I kept paying for my site name and all), but prioritizing it into my overly scheduled day… not on my top five list of things to do before I crash ungracefully into bed and try to sleep.

Since it has been, oh… for fucking ever, I will do a brief recap.  Taylor and I still live on the ranch with our smart, strong, beautiful daughter Josephine (who is now 6 and three quarters, unbelievably).  In addition, we went ahead and added on a second daughter, Lucinda Jane, a little over a year ago.  She is a spitfire.  Determined, hilarious, smart as a whip, and oh so sweet all at the same time.  Lucinda was born quickly and hit the ground running, determined to do everything as fast as possible.  She had no interest in being a baby, and so she really wasn’t for very long.  Other than the fact that sleep is a thing I do in two to three hour spurts each night courtesy of said baby, I think we have transitioned well.  Josephine loves Lucinda to absolute pieces (sometimes she thanks me profusely for giving her a sister, and I burst with love), and we couldn’t imagine life without this second crazy kid, and time is going too fast, and my kids are growing up, and all the other cliches about kids and time and I’m one big weepy mess, y’all.  Here’s a picture while I dry my eyes:

13754229_10207487121476042_7790809175522452873_nSeriously… those kids are good people.

Anyways, onward and all that.  We are still out here and the ranch.  We now have a herd of goats and a flock of chickens, and two crazy farm dogs, and a whole mess of thistles that have made themselves at home and are feeling pretty safe since I haven’t been out tending the pastures for the past two summers (you better watch your back, thistles.  Your time is coming).  I still have the same Program Coordinator job, which seems to grow in responsibility and stress each year.  I still have the same salty attitude, and life marches on.

With the addition of Lucinda Binda Boo, time is even more precious.  I have even more need to kick my laziness to the curb and kick it into HIGH GEAR!  So here I am.  I liked the accountability of this space, I enjoyed the way it made my mind work, and I need a hobby, so that when I’m doing icebreakers at work I don’t sound like a sad old lady (“I used to have hobbies, sometime before I had kids.  I liked to, um, well, yeah, I don’t remember, but I am sure I had hobbies).  So here I am.  Back in the virtual saddle.  So much to say, so little time to type it in.  Let’s see how this round goes!

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Welcome back, Pansy

Well, how long has it been… 6, maybe 7 months since my last post. ‘Bout time to start it up again. Wanna guess why? Oh, I’ll just tell you, ok? It’s a mixture of things (one being a mighty nice push from a mighty nice friend named Grace. Here’s to you, Grace!), but mostly it’s because yesterday I spent four hours outside doing stuff with the love of my life, Taylor, and I almost died (when I typed that it autocorrected to alarmist, ha!). We were running fencing, mending fences and starting to clear out the chicken coop, and as soon as we started I felt like I was going to pass out. I almost threw up, I got all sweaty and panicky. Gross. I worked, but I also whined and had to go in the house every twenty minutes to cool down and drink water. Wimp style.
Now, I’m figuring it was from the sun (I was running errands in the morning and we didn’t get out until noon thirty), but come ON! It was hot, but breezy. What the heck?
And so I’ve realized that I just am not outside enough this year to have accustomized (ooh, I like making myself up some words) to sun, heat and gorgeous country views. The LAZY part took over and the LIVING… well, not so much.
At one time Taylor said to me, and I quote, “Come on, Emily. And you call yourself a country wife (a # I like to use frequently on my Instagram ). I thought you wanted to go from lazy to living?”
Ugh. Blog thrown right in my sweaty, sunburned face. Serves me right. I can’t only keep this up when I’m hittin’ shit hard (what? I live in Valley Home, indiscriminate use of the word shit comes with the territory). I’ve got to keep it up when I’m not. Because that’s how it works.
And for full disclosure, you should all know: I’m losing the war on thistles. But I did irrigate mostly successfully by myself last week. Counts for something, right?
See you around kind folks! I’m sure you missed my over use of parenthesis and multiple postings on thistles.
Signed, the lazy country wife

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A clean desk

Today I cleaned out my desk drawer at work. It had been way to long and was so gross. I started because I was pulling things out while looking for a thank you card, and it snowballed to the point of no return so I had to finish. And you know what. It’s amazing!

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I know, I know… My life is sooooo thrilling.

Gobble Gobble

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Last year I counted off a whole mess of things I was grateful for . This year, as you can tell by my lack of posting, I’m a little less motivated to put that list together. So I’ll keep it short and sweet. I am thankful. Period.
My life is far from perfect, but I am learning lessons and becoming better every day. I have work and love, however frustrating each of those things can be at times. My house may be messy, but my child is happy. For that, I give thanks.

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Happy Thanksgiving. I hope your day is filled with love and warmth. Thanks to all!

Fall of Feelings

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Today we had our last day of irrigation for the year. It’s officially the end of summer.

I know fall technically started last month, but it has been savagely hot over here for the past few weeks, and just yesterday did a hint of cool weather appear.

This time of year, while always difficult for me in some ways, is also my favorite. The crisp air, leaves turning and holidays just around the corner spur happiness in my soul.

It’s also a time I tend to reflect on the year. Maybe because we are on the down slope of the year, maybe because my birthday comes around every November, but fall is my check-in point.

The past year has brought us so much joy, growth and wonder, but it has also been wrought with intense craziness for me.

For no apparent reason I have fought depression and anxiety, insomnia and low energy. Particularly in the past few months I have trended toward raging with anger, pain or frustration. I’m sure it’s been evident outwardly, but a lot of that crazy making behavior has (thankfully for me, maybe not so thankfully for my family) happened behind closed doors. My fuse has been short. I have not been the best version of myself. I have been tired. I have given in to negative thought patterns.

This isn’t to say that the year has been shot. I know I am so very lucky for all I have and get to do. By all means, I have had a landslide of amazing, hilarious joy filled moments. A ton, in fact. Just looking back over all the things we have done and fun we have had makes me feel guilty and self indulgent for even complaining. But even within those seriously wonderful moments I have had an angst. A negative cloud. A damper. For some reason I haven’t had that fully joyful feeling.

But the tides, they are a changin’…

Last weekend we hosted Taylor’s band’s Kitchen Party for Kickstarter backers who donated at the Kitchen Party level. We (with help from other Good Luck Thrift Store Outfit band peeps, most notable Aaron and his seriously wonderful girlfriend Aubrey) worked hard to get everything ready. It was exhausting. However, it was fun. Like, a lot of fun. Working together on our place, meeting new people, music in the yard, sharing our lovely home with friends, all of it.

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The best part, though, was the next day. I was driving to work and I realized that I was really happy. Unabashedly, from the core of my heart, not a care in the world happy. The kind of happy that I was missing all year throughout dozens of happy moments. It was simply beautiful.

And today, as summer really, truly waves goodbye and we drown our little ranch for the last time this year, I realized. The summer was my winter and the fall will be my spring. I feel the flowers stirring in my soul. My happiness shall prevail. Let the positivity commence!

…Or maybe it’s just a mood swing.

Either way, I welcome the Fall sun with my own personal kitchen party.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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And maybe a little early fall irrigation puddle splashing🙂

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Have you missed me?…

Have you missed me? No? Well, that’s alright. I’ve missed blogging a lot. On the upside I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to fit time in to write it all down. I suppose I’m moving from lazy to living. And living we have been. I’ve been busily collecting stories and taking pictures, so hopefully soon I will get some time to take them out of my head and put them on the screen.
In the meanwhile, here are two pictures. One of our darn near immaculate yard, and one of our precious baby. Two of the things I’ve been busy living with. Talk to you soon….

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From the mouths of babes: Part 2

Josephine: “I just feel a little sick.”
Me: “what does it feel like?”
Josephine: “it feels like a monster bought me a present.”

Josephine: “Mama, you ruined my imagination!” when I took her plastic horses out of her bed at nap time so she would go to sleep

Josephine: “I sure wish it would rain.”
Me: “Why do you wish it would rain?”
Josephine: “Because I saved too much money.”
-when she puts money in the bank we tell her it’s to “save it for a rainy day”.

Josephine: “Mama, can I have your phone for a little bit?”
Me: “What are you going to look at?”
Josephine: “Just going to look at the news.”