Swimming in stuff

You know that scene in Labyrinth where the old Muppet Junk Lady tries to distract Sarah from her quest by showing her all of her own belongings and Sarah begins to pile her own junk around her until she suddenly realizes that her stuff is keeping her from her destiny and she escapes through the ceiling?

This scene right here?

Yeah, that’s totally me right now. My entire house feels filled to the brim with junk that is keeping me from saving the world (or some dramatic shit like that).  This weekend I’d like to be outside doing stuff, but my junk is holding me hostage with death threats to “organize or else I’ll smother you in your sleep!” My soul is screaming, “It’s all junk!”

 I swear I have Depression Era tendencies to hoard because I feel like I’ll never have money to buy anything again and for the love of all things mighty, you just might need that cord, bucket, box of old books, container of canning lids that have no jar to screw into (true story… I’m a mess).  

So a purge is coming. possibly this weekend, but nevertheless, soon.  Very soon. If not I fear I may actually turn into that junk woman, weighted down by all my crap. I’m the worst at this. Send me your strength, folks!  Ima need it. 

Advertisements

Testing testing… Is thing on?

Well, tonight seems like just as good a time as any to hop back on the old blog and say hello.  I’m thinking I need a hobby (other than my standby hobby of singing stupid songs, cursing at facebook, and complaining loudly), or the very least a sounding board, so here I am. Shall we do a quick catch up?  Yes?!  Well ok!

Since last I visited this hallowed space, little has changed. Life is still busy, I still fight the good fight against the laze, and my children are still amazing little time sucking whirlwinds. They are both super great humans, and they make me proud daily.  For reals.  Josephine is 7 (and a half, thank you very much), and Little Lucinda just turned 2 (historically my least favorite age to parent, but gosh darn it she isn’t cute as all get out).  Taylor is still rocking my world as the coolest and most amazing dad, holding it all down on the farm. We’ve still got our crazy dogs, our chicken crew, and the goats roaming around out here. We also have a cow and a pig hanging out in the pasture right now too. It’s a crazy animal party up in here. Livin’ the good life, folks (but seriously, I’m super grateful for all of this).

Since we last spoke, Taylor painted the house, we started and then stopped, and then started again in our garden plot (ever closer, each and every time we take a whack at it), and I discovered the joy of mowing our extensive lawn (is this a teaser for a blog post about mowing??? You’ll have to wait and see, my friends…wait and see). We’ve reorganized many rooms in the house, and have started work on the barn to turn it into a functional music/whatever space for Taylor. There are never a shortage of projects, that’s for darn tootin’ (can you tell I have a two year old who likes to say things like, “God dammit, you get a time out!” to her dolls in front of company?  No idea where she picks that up. None at all #badmom). 

Anyways, my intentions are to start back up here in a more robust and less sporadic fashion, but time will tell if my ideas and actions are in synch. In the meantime, let me leave you with this photo, because you know what they say:  a picture is worth a thousand poorly executed blog posts. Hope to see you all real soon.  

Where has the time gone…

Hello… is there anybody out there?  My goodness.  Has it been three years?  What in the freaking world, you guys?  Man.  I think I need this space now more than ever.  I suppose I always knew I would return (since I kept paying for my site name and all), but prioritizing it into my overly scheduled day… not on my top five list of things to do before I crash ungracefully into bed and try to sleep.

Since it has been, oh… for fucking ever, I will do a brief recap.  Taylor and I still live on the ranch with our smart, strong, beautiful daughter Josephine (who is now 6 and three quarters, unbelievably).  In addition, we went ahead and added on a second daughter, Lucinda Jane, a little over a year ago.  She is a spitfire.  Determined, hilarious, smart as a whip, and oh so sweet all at the same time.  Lucinda was born quickly and hit the ground running, determined to do everything as fast as possible.  She had no interest in being a baby, and so she really wasn’t for very long.  Other than the fact that sleep is a thing I do in two to three hour spurts each night courtesy of said baby, I think we have transitioned well.  Josephine loves Lucinda to absolute pieces (sometimes she thanks me profusely for giving her a sister, and I burst with love), and we couldn’t imagine life without this second crazy kid, and time is going too fast, and my kids are growing up, and all the other cliches about kids and time and I’m one big weepy mess, y’all.  Here’s a picture while I dry my eyes:

13754229_10207487121476042_7790809175522452873_nSeriously… those kids are good people.

Anyways, onward and all that.  We are still out here and the ranch.  We now have a herd of goats and a flock of chickens, and two crazy farm dogs, and a whole mess of thistles that have made themselves at home and are feeling pretty safe since I haven’t been out tending the pastures for the past two summers (you better watch your back, thistles.  Your time is coming).  I still have the same Program Coordinator job, which seems to grow in responsibility and stress each year.  I still have the same salty attitude, and life marches on.

With the addition of Lucinda Binda Boo, time is even more precious.  I have even more need to kick my laziness to the curb and kick it into HIGH GEAR!  So here I am.  I liked the accountability of this space, I enjoyed the way it made my mind work, and I need a hobby, so that when I’m doing icebreakers at work I don’t sound like a sad old lady (“I used to have hobbies, sometime before I had kids.  I liked to, um, well, yeah, I don’t remember, but I am sure I had hobbies).  So here I am.  Back in the virtual saddle.  So much to say, so little time to type it in.  Let’s see how this round goes!

IMG_6115

 

Welcome back, Pansy

Well, how long has it been… 6, maybe 7 months since my last post. ‘Bout time to start it up again. Wanna guess why? Oh, I’ll just tell you, ok? It’s a mixture of things (one being a mighty nice push from a mighty nice friend named Grace. Here’s to you, Grace!), but mostly it’s because yesterday I spent four hours outside doing stuff with the love of my life, Taylor, and I almost died (when I typed that it autocorrected to alarmist, ha!). We were running fencing, mending fences and starting to clear out the chicken coop, and as soon as we started I felt like I was going to pass out. I almost threw up, I got all sweaty and panicky. Gross. I worked, but I also whined and had to go in the house every twenty minutes to cool down and drink water. Wimp style.
Now, I’m figuring it was from the sun (I was running errands in the morning and we didn’t get out until noon thirty), but come ON! It was hot, but breezy. What the heck?
And so I’ve realized that I just am not outside enough this year to have accustomized (ooh, I like making myself up some words) to sun, heat and gorgeous country views. The LAZY part took over and the LIVING… well, not so much.
At one time Taylor said to me, and I quote, “Come on, Emily. And you call yourself a country wife (a # I like to use frequently on my Instagram ). I thought you wanted to go from lazy to living?”
Ugh. Blog thrown right in my sweaty, sunburned face. Serves me right. I can’t only keep this up when I’m hittin’ shit hard (what? I live in Valley Home, indiscriminate use of the word shit comes with the territory). I’ve got to keep it up when I’m not. Because that’s how it works.
And for full disclosure, you should all know: I’m losing the war on thistles. But I did irrigate mostly successfully by myself last week. Counts for something, right?
See you around kind folks! I’m sure you missed my over use of parenthesis and multiple postings on thistles.
Signed, the lazy country wife

20130623-083712.jpg

A clean desk

Today I cleaned out my desk drawer at work. It had been way to long and was so gross. I started because I was pulling things out while looking for a thank you card, and it snowballed to the point of no return so I had to finish. And you know what. It’s amazing!

20121129-124619.jpg
I know, I know… My life is sooooo thrilling.

Gobble Gobble

20121122-083315.jpg

Last year I counted off a whole mess of things I was grateful for . This year, as you can tell by my lack of posting, I’m a little less motivated to put that list together. So I’ll keep it short and sweet. I am thankful. Period.
My life is far from perfect, but I am learning lessons and becoming better every day. I have work and love, however frustrating each of those things can be at times. My house may be messy, but my child is happy. For that, I give thanks.

20121122-082141.jpg
Happy Thanksgiving. I hope your day is filled with love and warmth. Thanks to all!

Fall of Feelings

20121006-174214.jpg

Today we had our last day of irrigation for the year. It’s officially the end of summer.

I know fall technically started last month, but it has been savagely hot over here for the past few weeks, and just yesterday did a hint of cool weather appear.

This time of year, while always difficult for me in some ways, is also my favorite. The crisp air, leaves turning and holidays just around the corner spur happiness in my soul.

It’s also a time I tend to reflect on the year. Maybe because we are on the down slope of the year, maybe because my birthday comes around every November, but fall is my check-in point.

The past year has brought us so much joy, growth and wonder, but it has also been wrought with intense craziness for me.

For no apparent reason I have fought depression and anxiety, insomnia and low energy. Particularly in the past few months I have trended toward raging with anger, pain or frustration. I’m sure it’s been evident outwardly, but a lot of that crazy making behavior has (thankfully for me, maybe not so thankfully for my family) happened behind closed doors. My fuse has been short. I have not been the best version of myself. I have been tired. I have given in to negative thought patterns.

This isn’t to say that the year has been shot. I know I am so very lucky for all I have and get to do. By all means, I have had a landslide of amazing, hilarious joy filled moments. A ton, in fact. Just looking back over all the things we have done and fun we have had makes me feel guilty and self indulgent for even complaining. But even within those seriously wonderful moments I have had an angst. A negative cloud. A damper. For some reason I haven’t had that fully joyful feeling.

But the tides, they are a changin’…

Last weekend we hosted Taylor’s band’s Kitchen Party for Kickstarter backers who donated at the Kitchen Party level. We (with help from other Good Luck Thrift Store Outfit band peeps, most notable Aaron and his seriously wonderful girlfriend Aubrey) worked hard to get everything ready. It was exhausting. However, it was fun. Like, a lot of fun. Working together on our place, meeting new people, music in the yard, sharing our lovely home with friends, all of it.

20121006-174803.jpg
The best part, though, was the next day. I was driving to work and I realized that I was really happy. Unabashedly, from the core of my heart, not a care in the world happy. The kind of happy that I was missing all year throughout dozens of happy moments. It was simply beautiful.

And today, as summer really, truly waves goodbye and we drown our little ranch for the last time this year, I realized. The summer was my winter and the fall will be my spring. I feel the flowers stirring in my soul. My happiness shall prevail. Let the positivity commence!

…Or maybe it’s just a mood swing.

Either way, I welcome the Fall sun with my own personal kitchen party.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

20121006-175310.jpg
And maybe a little early fall irrigation puddle splashing 🙂

20121006-175507.jpg