Tag Archives: fall

Fall of Feelings

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Today we had our last day of irrigation for the year. It’s officially the end of summer.

I know fall technically started last month, but it has been savagely hot over here for the past few weeks, and just yesterday did a hint of cool weather appear.

This time of year, while always difficult for me in some ways, is also my favorite. The crisp air, leaves turning and holidays just around the corner spur happiness in my soul.

It’s also a time I tend to reflect on the year. Maybe because we are on the down slope of the year, maybe because my birthday comes around every November, but fall is my check-in point.

The past year has brought us so much joy, growth and wonder, but it has also been wrought with intense craziness for me.

For no apparent reason I have fought depression and anxiety, insomnia and low energy. Particularly in the past few months I have trended toward raging with anger, pain or frustration. I’m sure it’s been evident outwardly, but a lot of that crazy making behavior has (thankfully for me, maybe not so thankfully for my family) happened behind closed doors. My fuse has been short. I have not been the best version of myself. I have been tired. I have given in to negative thought patterns.

This isn’t to say that the year has been shot. I know I am so very lucky for all I have and get to do. By all means, I have had a landslide of amazing, hilarious joy filled moments. A ton, in fact. Just looking back over all the things we have done and fun we have had makes me feel guilty and self indulgent for even complaining. But even within those seriously wonderful moments I have had an angst. A negative cloud. A damper. For some reason I haven’t had that fully joyful feeling.

But the tides, they are a changin’…

Last weekend we hosted Taylor’s band’s Kitchen Party for Kickstarter backers who donated at the Kitchen Party level. We (with help from other Good Luck Thrift Store Outfit band peeps, most notable Aaron and his seriously wonderful girlfriend Aubrey) worked hard to get everything ready. It was exhausting. However, it was fun. Like, a lot of fun. Working together on our place, meeting new people, music in the yard, sharing our lovely home with friends, all of it.

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The best part, though, was the next day. I was driving to work and I realized that I was really happy. Unabashedly, from the core of my heart, not a care in the world happy. The kind of happy that I was missing all year throughout dozens of happy moments. It was simply beautiful.

And today, as summer really, truly waves goodbye and we drown our little ranch for the last time this year, I realized. The summer was my winter and the fall will be my spring. I feel the flowers stirring in my soul. My happiness shall prevail. Let the positivity commence!

…Or maybe it’s just a mood swing.

Either way, I welcome the Fall sun with my own personal kitchen party.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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And maybe a little early fall irrigation puddle splashing 🙂

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Fall Finally

Well, folks, it looks like fall is finally here… I wore a sweater all day long and didn’t get hot. It’s finally not 80 degrees and I, for one, am loving it!
It rained last night, and when I left for work at 7 am this morning, I was greeted by a beautiful fall sunrise. The view almost makes leaving before the sun comes up worth it. Almost.

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This weather and my crazy work schedule zaps my productivity and makes me want to curl up and read a book. I think Josephine feels the same way, as this is how she’s spent the last 20 minutes.

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Oh how I wish I was motivated. Or two years old with nothing to do but read pretty picture books. Sigh.

Pre-Winter Worries

 

Well, it’s officially fall.  I have to say, the rain has done wonders for our air quality, which was borderline unbearable for the last couple of weeks.  The dust from the almond orchards seemed worse than ever this year.  I feel like I can finally breathe again without feeling like the smoker that I once was.   

With fall comes a lot more time indoors, but it also means I need to push push push myself to get outside and get things prepped for winter, so that I will have an easier time when things burst to life again in the spring (I’m talking to you thistles, I’m coming for you.  Be warned). 

Josephine doesn’t mind being out in the rain (or at least she didn’t last year), so really I need to keep it in my mind to bundle her up, slap on the rain boots, and get out into the yard.  Mud is just mud, and we have a heater (or we will as soon as Taylor hooks up the gas line) and a bathtub and hot tea to warm us up after we’ve spent time in the pastures pulling weeds and taking names. 

Last year Josephine took great pleasure dancing in the rain on the front porch!

 — As an aside, do you like how I’m pretending that we were hit with fall weather and I won’t be able to step outside until April?  Never mind that the forecast for the next week includes multiple days in the low 80’s.  I am so dramatic.  God! —

I am, however, worried about the impending shortening of days and what that will do to my already paltry outside time.  I get home anywhere between 5:15 and 6:30 on the days I work, so pretty soon it will be dark as night upon my arrival.  Floodlights and gardening gloves anyone?  Anyone?  Yeah, doesn’t sound appealing to me, either. 

I suppose it’s time to knock out a list of things I want to accomplish by springtime, that way I stay on course.  But that sounds boring and not fun. 

I will say that although I have done little outside of my house, I have finally, maybe, just for these last couple of weeks perhaps, gotten into a routine inside the house.  Things are clean, and areas are being organized small tiny task by small tiny task.  PROGRESS!  If we could just get it together to hang our artwork up after 2 ½ months of bare (however beautifully painted) walls, I would really be proud.

As with all things, life is a balance of hard work, fun, stress and joy.  Taylor and I have been focusing hard on the fun and joy portion of that equation, taking some much needed family time.  Just yesterday Taylor and I took Josephine to Micke’s Grove Zoo and Park. Taylor has been itching to do this for a while, but we’ve been so busy (we actually got in the car to go one day, but had to turn around becauseTaylor had an unexpected show that he had to play).  We had a lot of fun for the most part, and the weather held out just long enough for us to tour the zoo, enjoy the Japanese Tea Gardens, and ride some amusement park rides (we had the ENTIRE FUN TOWN TO OURSELVES!  The ride guy just walked around with us saying, “OK, what do you guys want to go on next?”  I pretended we were rich and famous and they shut down Disneyland for us.  Ah, imagination!).  All in all a fantastic day.  We have some more fun joyful things on the horizon (boo hoo, I know), but then it’s time for this mama to buckle down and work on that winter list.  And now that I’ve bored you with my rather unexciting life here are some pictures of my day yesterday …Farewell.

Josephine and I rode a giant turtle at the zoo.

Josephine looks at pigeons in the aviary exhibit.

And there you go.  I believe I told you in my very first blog post that I am disgustingly in love with my kid, and will bore you to tears with pictures, stories, etc.  I may be lazy, but I’m no liar!

Good morning

From my little slice of heaven…

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Although it’s going to be 99 degrees here today, I can feel fall in the air!