Water

The forecast calls for rain for the remainder of the week and well into the weekend. We need the water, since our pastures have been bone dry. Just so happens that yesterday was the first day of (early) irrigation. I guess when it rains (ha, ha) it pours.

It was a beautiful day yesterday, and we spent the bulk of it outside. Taylor ran the water and Josephine and I worked on maintaining the goat pasture (I will get you thistles…this is my year!). Well, I worked on it, Josephine mainly played various goat pasture games, including, but not limited to: Paint on a tree stump with water, paint on a goat with water, pretend goat trough fishing, three little pigs (which consists of pretending to build houses and then asking the wolf to come in to play), night night (consisting of Josephine laying in the dirt in the goat shack and closing her eyes), and peanut butter and jelly (which is a new game, where she pulls weeds and insists they are peanut butter and jelly while she feeds them to the goats).

If you have been around me recently, you may have noticed (or heard me complaining, rather) that I have not adjusted to having a two year old and all of the ups and downs that go along with that age. My patience is worn thin. I feel like my well is as dry as the pastures have been. This shall be known as the great patience drought of 2012. I am easily frustrated, and I am not the parent I know I can be or know that I want to be. I feel myself questioning what I am doing constantly. Consistency is taxing, and I feel like I’m always saying no, redirecting, fending off a tantrum. I don’t like being the bad guy. I know it can’t be fun for her either. I also know that she just needs more attention from me, so it’s time to slow down and do that. I need to get my head in the game, and I am trying to center myself and be a source of calm, but it is trying. I think it’s time for me to get back to the newborn/infant mantra that got me through: everything will change, the good and the bad, so enjoy it for what it is. I need to irrigate my mind, perhaps?

And now for some kinder, more enjoyable thoughts. It is nice this year to have a little more independence while Josephine plays by herself in the yard so that I can get some work done and spend time with her at the same time. It’s actually one of my favorite things, being in the goat pasture with Josephine and the goats milling around. She plays the abovementioned games, and I love her imagination, determination, and creativity. Her sense of humor is spot on, and she can make me laugh like no one else. I love the activities and play that comes with a two year old, and I will work on acceptance of the other stuff because, just like the baby stage didn’t last and now I kind of long for that again, this won’t last either and I’m sure I’ll long for this.

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One response to “Water

  1. I know that feeling well, my friend. I’m going through it times three right now, each age seems to get harder as my kids get more independent. They are certainly much more fun as they grow but they also test my patience constantly and I know that I can do better. It’s a constant internal struggle and one I’d like to tell you gets easier…but I think it’s just going to get harder and harder. But the plus side is that it gets much more rewarding when you see the efforts of your struggle.

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