Today I cleaned out my desk drawer at work. It had been way to long and was so gross. I started because I was pulling things out while looking for a thank you card, and it snowballed to the point of no return so I had to finish. And you know what. It’s amazing!
Last year I counted off a whole mess of things I was grateful for . This year, as you can tell by my lack of posting, I’m a little less motivated to put that list together. So I’ll keep it short and sweet. I am thankful. Period.
My life is far from perfect, but I am learning lessons and becoming better every day. I have work and love, however frustrating each of those things can be at times. My house may be messy, but my child is happy. For that, I give thanks.
Today we had our last day of irrigation for the year. It’s officially the end of summer.
I know fall technically started last month, but it has been savagely hot over here for the past few weeks, and just yesterday did a hint of cool weather appear.
This time of year, while always difficult for me in some ways, is also my favorite. The crisp air, leaves turning and holidays just around the corner spur happiness in my soul.
It’s also a time I tend to reflect on the year. Maybe because we are on the down slope of the year, maybe because my birthday comes around every November, but fall is my check-in point.
The past year has brought us so much joy, growth and wonder, but it has also been wrought with intense craziness for me.
For no apparent reason I have fought depression and anxiety, insomnia and low energy. Particularly in the past few months I have trended toward raging with anger, pain or frustration. I’m sure it’s been evident outwardly, but a lot of that crazy making behavior has (thankfully for me, maybe not so thankfully for my family) happened behind closed doors. My fuse has been short. I have not been the best version of myself. I have been tired. I have given in to negative thought patterns.
This isn’t to say that the year has been shot. I know I am so very lucky for all I have and get to do. By all means, I have had a landslide of amazing, hilarious joy filled moments. A ton, in fact. Just looking back over all the things we have done and fun we have had makes me feel guilty and self indulgent for even complaining. But even within those seriously wonderful moments I have had an angst. A negative cloud. A damper. For some reason I haven’t had that fully joyful feeling.
But the tides, they are a changin’…
Last weekend we hosted Taylor’s band’s Kitchen Party for Kickstarter backers who donated at the Kitchen Party level. We (with help from other Good Luck Thrift Store Outfit band peeps, most notable Aaron and his seriously wonderful girlfriend Aubrey) worked hard to get everything ready. It was exhausting. However, it was fun. Like, a lot of fun. Working together on our place, meeting new people, music in the yard, sharing our lovely home with friends, all of it.
The best part, though, was the next day. I was driving to work and I realized that I was really happy. Unabashedly, from the core of my heart, not a care in the world happy. The kind of happy that I was missing all year throughout dozens of happy moments. It was simply beautiful.
And today, as summer really, truly waves goodbye and we drown our little ranch for the last time this year, I realized. The summer was my winter and the fall will be my spring. I feel the flowers stirring in my soul. My happiness shall prevail. Let the positivity commence!
…Or maybe it’s just a mood swing.
Either way, I welcome the Fall sun with my own personal kitchen party.
Have you missed me? No? Well, that’s alright. I’ve missed blogging a lot. On the upside I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to fit time in to write it all down. I suppose I’m moving from lazy to living. And living we have been. I’ve been busily collecting stories and taking pictures, so hopefully soon I will get some time to take them out of my head and put them on the screen.
In the meanwhile, here are two pictures. One of our darn near immaculate yard, and one of our precious baby. Two of the things I’ve been busy living with. Talk to you soon….
Want an update? I’m struggling a bit (a lot) with most everything: work is hard and crazy, my car is mostly broken and I need another one, I am constantly feeling like I am disappointing most of the people I know, my house needs cleaning and I’m broke. There.
Also, my daughter is hilarious, I own a beautiful house and I do have a lot of people who care about me. And my health. I have that too. And I’m not starving, I like my job despite it’s hardness, and I have Taylor around.
So there it is. The conflicts that are my woe is me attitude and the blessings that I have in my life. Blah.
I am currently on a train by myself headed to the wedding of two wonderful beautiful people. I was and still am conflicted over whether or not I should have come on this trip. What with my car problems, dirty house and a child who really just wants me and cried like the dickens as I drove away.
But here I am. Ready to see a slough of high school friends (my two best from high school included). Should I be here? Who knows. Now to shake this gloomy perspective before I get there.
And so as not to leave you with a sour bad mood taste in your mouth, I present to you my life in pictures, since I have no energy to write up the stories. I’m hoping a dredge though my photos will brighten my mood. Here goes…
Ok, so now I feel a little better (if not more guilty for being so ungrateful). So thanks for letting me vent, Internet. I promise I’ll come back in a better mood. Maybe.
Sooooo, want my list of excuses as to what is taking me so long to write about the last part of our big family vacation? No? Well, I’m excusing myself anyways. Ummmm, I started working more hours a week, my phone is messed up, making it difficult and annoying to type stories, I have been cleaning my house instead of blogging (yeah right), I’m lazy (don’t you know?). Yeah, all of that (minus the lie about cleaning my house. Not happening).
So here it is… Part Three: Family Fourth in Mount Shasta!
We woke up in Redding and drove on up the hill to beautiful Mount Shasta City. We were greeted by my lovely family: my mom, stepdad, cousin Caitrin, sister Maya, brother in law Kevin, and most importantly, my crazy amazing nephew Emmett!!!
We jumped right into play time and really had an amazing time. It was so much fun to watch Josephine with her cousin. He’s a year old now and is getting so mobile. His little words are starting to form, and he’s a curious one. Josephine and Emmett played well, other than some sharing mishaps where my “angel” decided it was ok to push and hit. Not gonna happen.
My mom has the perfect setup for kids of all ages, and always seems to know exactly what toys to put out for maximum playtime fun! Way to go Grandma Carol!
When Fourth of July hit we were ready to go with our red, white and blue clothes. First up on the patriotic docket was walking down the driveway and watching the Mount Shasta race participants run by the house. We marveled at their fitness while we dreamed of the homemade ice cream sandwiches waiting in the freezer.
We hung around until the not so serious runners passed the house, like this guy in the American flag suit. He was having people sign his suit, which I’m pretty sure was just a ploy to flirt with my 16 year old cousin, but whatever.
Next we hit up the parade. Now, maybe I’ve just lived in Oakdale too long where parades consist of about one million horses, some dancing kids and a few clowns, but the Mount Shasta parade was loud and just one car after another. Kind of a let down. Next year I’ll skip it. One car did have people handing out American flags, so it wasn’t a total bust.
We met up with our friends Heaven and Sunny, who just happened to be in Shasta at the same time we were. We all headed back to the house for play time, goofing around, tractor rides, and finally, those ice cream sandwiches. Yum!!
After eating and relaxing we moseyed on over to the neighbors for some fireworks. Boom, bang, crackle. Josephine loved the sparklers, and the popcorn the neighbors served her! Such a nice community my parents live in. Everyone was so friendly!
Our vacation continued with lake fun. My mom took Josephine kayaking, we all swam around, and we had a wonderful, family filled fun. I love lakes and Josephine loves swimming. What a beautiful lake to swim in, and just five minutes from Grandma and Grandpas house. Perfect! Watching my mom and Josephine kayak was awesome. She’s been itching to get that kid on a kayak since she was born, and it was finally time. Of course, I had to get in on the kayak action too. Now I want a kayak of my very own. Anyone want to give me one?? (just kidding, unless you want to give me a kayak for reals, because I totally will accept the gift).
We had a lovely time. I feel really lucky that my parents live in such a beautiful area. We get to vacation in style and comfort. Couldn’t ask for more! Before we left we hit up the fish hatchery to feed the fishies, an instant hit in a toddlers book!
And so our trip ended, with kisses from Grandma and sweet memories of Josephine and Emmett getting their first real play time in. The first of many. I can’t wait for Fourth of Julys to come. We are a lucky family.
Our drive home was a quick four hours and blissfully uneventful. As always, coming home is a treat, since our home is so beautiful, and was especially nice since our neighbor mowed our lawn while we were gone. Score!
Festivals, forests and fireworks. This family vacation thing is definitely the way to go! I like my little family. Taylor and I have always vacationed like pros together, and our kid definitely inherited the Websterson vacation style! Go team!
And so it ends, the longest running triple post (and possibly the most photo laden) on these here internets. I’m feeling relieved, and ready for some posts about other things. Like about how I’m lazy and have let some thistles (dun dun DUN!) flower (I know, I know, after I worked so hard to rid our property of them). Happy summer!!